Current Comic - Issue 59 Page 1
Characters from Asschin
Asschin is an alien from the planet Uranus. Constructed as an intended ambassador for Earth Asschin was sent by the ruling coucil on Uranus to make first contact with Earth and to represent them in negotiations for a peaceful and mutually beneficial relationship. Unfortunately Asschin's ship was not prepared for the interference in Earth's atmoshphere caused by television broadcasts and comunication satelites. Asschin's ship lost control and crashed into Brown Eye University. The same television transmissions that caused his ship to crah also crashed the bio-hard drive that is his brain. When rebooted this hard drive was overwritten with information from our television programs most predmoniantly super hero cartoons.
Nerdboy's real name is Zachary DaBlank. He is an orphan raised by a loving if not somewhat overbearing foster mother. He was once a handsome and brilliant chemist. One night while working with the highly unstable chemical compound "Nerdoliate" He spilled some on himself when an alien space craft crashed into the chemistry lab of Browneye University. He didn't actually gain any super powers, though he retained his intellect and adopted a love of spandex body suits and crime fighting.
Blue's was just a normal teenager, well as normal as teenagers get, until he met Kayla Demonica. She is the girl of his dreams and clearly his dreams are mostly nightmares. As an indirect result of his reltation ship with kayla he was bitten by a werewolf girl at a demonic dance party and is now cursed. He changes into a monster three times a month and is incapable of dying, that is unless someone has a good supply of silver bullets.
Kayla Demonica is the youngest child of what our pathetic human brains would have to identify as the ultimate opposition to good ie. "the Devil" in western tradition. She is at this current point in the series(2004) 231 years old. She could basically murder you...
The unsanitary Proctologist,(deceased) a formerly respected man in his field (or as respected as an ass doctor can be really) He took to a life of crime after he turned 30 and realised what he's done with his life, i.e. become an expert on butt holes and their workings. He takes delight in performing experiments on unwitting victims, though because of his area of expertise these experiments mostly relate to the Bottom...
Jimmy is Blue's only real friend left. Jimmy is a popular and good looking kinda guy who doesn't have much trouble in the way of getting girls. He considers himself to be "cool enough" to be allowed to remain friends with Blue even when all their other classmates have decided it's best to avoid all contact with him. Jimmy was found to be posessed by Blue's former guardian angel Rachael who is trying desperately to get him away from Kayla for fear that his soul will be damned to hell for all eternity.
The Ritarded Reverend (deceased) (Father Johnathan Tassoni) is a former memeber of an elite jewish group of warriors call the "Rabbi Knights". After the disbanding of this group he was enlisted into the ranks of the Catholic church's "Christ Troopers" (You may recall Several condom factories being destoyed in the 80's) He has been their leader for several years now and is coming upon what he refers to as the "Work he was born to do", though what that is no one can really say for certain. Killed by Blue at the end of his first viallainous work the "Ritarded Reverend" was gone for some time. Then he was resurected by a catholic project that had been working on reanimating saints and the like. He was then killed again when he removed his mask and allowed the gas keeping him alive to escape.